The Last Nine Kingdoms of the Merry–Go–Round

What if the person you think you are is only half the story?
What if the prisons that bind you are not walls of stone, but whispers from your unconscious mind?

Helene Grillot stands at the crossroads of psychology, spirituality, and myth. A French-born writernow based in Australia, she is a poet of consciousness and an Artisan of Awakening, whose workguides readers from the world of striving to the stillness of being.

Like Clarissa Pinkola Estés, she writes through archetypes and symbol; like Mark Nepo, shespeaks with contemplative intimacy. Yet her voice is uniquely her own – visionary and structured,born from direct mystical experience and a lifelong devotion to inner transformation.

She is the author of Just Be Yourself and The Last Nine Kingdoms of the Merry-Go-Round, a luminousexploration of the Nine Kingdoms of the Enneagram – reimagined as a mythic pilgrimagethrough the landscapes of fear and freedom. Through her companion course, Artisans ofAwakening, she invites others to recognise and release the unconscious patterns that quietly directtheir lives, and to awaken to the love that was never lost.

As an Artisan of Awakening, Helene’s voice does not instruct from above but invites fromwithin – revealing that true transformation is not self-improvement, but the art of rememberingwho we have always been.

The 10 Commitments

This book won’t ask you to align to your ‘higher self’. It won’t ask you to work towards something better, or to change yourself to get what you want out of life.

It will tell you to look for the principles that already guide you. To figure out what it is that you are committed to and embrace it. To realise that your commitments are serving you perfectly right now. That they always have and always will.

Your principles are the rules and theories you live by. They determine what you believe. How you see the world. The things you do.

Through the witty and insightful musings of Melanie Kim Brockwell, be guided in a process of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-determination of each of your commitments. Recognise the ideals that build the foundations of who you are. Find love and approval for them. And for yourself as you are in the present.

“This small book is a sample of the new ways we can take the old truths (we thought we were living by), and reinterpret them to give us a new way to let ourselves fully be in every moment, in rapture for the gift that we are and the opportunity that we are given.”
– Louise Moriarty, feature poet

It’s 2AM. I’m up working on my manuscript only be·cause some crazy-pants possum woke me, ransacking the kitchen in search of fruit. Which we’re out of, by the way. So, he’s gone mad – throwing pans and chopping boards. Perhaps in the hope I’d come running out, no fur on, and hand him an overripe banana. It’s not un.heard of. I do things like that. Especially the no fur thing. It’s a feature in our household – nudidity and wildlings

As you can tell, my days are pretty un.complicated. When I’m not fending off wildlife in the wee hours, or caring for street cats, you’ll find me at work. For me, that means listening to the universe, tuning into what’s for me to do today, and following my instructions.

Sometimes that’s as simple as being-with a migraine. Other times, I’m asked to be a little more than present. I’m asked to act. To speak. To be a participant who interweaves – a participant of more than. To not just see the silver cord, but to be the voice of that vision. To know-without-knowing that the vision has meaning beyond itself in words on a page for a reader to digest and move on.

Knowing-without-knowing that I am who I am for a reason, one that may forever remain inexplicable except to say – Life Is, or it is. That what-is, in this moment, in every moment, is the Universe re-arranging itself, repeatedly, until it’s not. That my job, my duty as a receiver of instructions, is clear as day. Even when it’s not. Especially then, be·cause it’s all on purpose, it’s all divine, it’s all perfect on that grander scale where everything’s involved and I’m not focused on some smaller, personal detail about who I am in the eyes of a world I don’t have much to do with anyway.

To be in the world but not of the world. To be lived by it. To know without knowing. These are all beautiful bumper-sticker beliefs until they challenge you – challenge, meaning to be ‘called forth’. All is well until our faith in what-is is called forth into the world, into today, where our experiences are pained with doubt, disturbance, and disbelief in the perfection of this.

How could this be perfect?
How could this be on purpose?
How am I to make peace with this version of what-is, right now, as I am, in this moment?

I get asked these questions too. They’re part of my reality. They haunt my halls and live in my house alongside the beauty and birdsong. It’s how this works.

I’m not immune. My faith is not in some better outcome if I decide to do things differently. My hope isn’t anchored to evolutionary humanity headed toward Atlantean peace and fulfilment.

The commitments that run my life do so from a place so deep I couldn’t touch them with any powers I possess. Before there was a ‘me’ to speak of, my commitments, my vision, and my ability to perceive the silver cord, were all in the void. As the sphere of all-that-is condensed into a stream of existence, these particulars came into being via the field of excitation.

That’s how I get through the day. That’s how I deal with the conditions of my life without believing they’ve been foisted upon me as punishment or reward. That’s how I know-without- knowing this is all meant for me. That this has meaning beyond which I can find or ascribe it, beyond which I can see, feel and know to be true from this smaller piece of more than.

My vision. My excitation. My faith. It’s all deeper than that. It pulses up from below and lets me know, from time to time, that I am doing all I can with what I have – and that’s more than enough. In fact, it’s holy. It’s karma, kundalini and Christ consciousness all in one.

There is nothing else going on. There is only the silver cord, the excitation of a field, and a sphere of being. Anything else, that seems to be happening, is tied to one of those in some way, and it’s not for me to say how. Unless it is, and I’ll know if it is by the instructions I get when I tune into what the Universe is saying to me and do what I’m told.

Which is how I end up working on my manuscript at 2AM when some crazy-pants possum starts ransacking the kitchen for fruit.

(to be read aloud with rhythm)

I have journeyed far and wide Outside and inside Explored alternate realities to ease the pain Did all kind of menial work as I explored the terrain Travelled this land connecting and freeing All the country and its diversity seeing Joined the circus after I ran away Contemplated in silence day after day Studied social work and took it to the fight For the environment and human rights

Decided it was me who needed healing A master of social ecology, one of purpose and feeling Fools rush in with a stop and a start Opening and trusting giving away my heart Loved men continuously When will love stick to me Danced the songlines of the planets calling Married a kindred heart in love falling Closing it down I couldn’t connect Doing our best each to protect

Wanted to set the children free Went to India to the orphanage to see To the other extreme private summer camp For kids on meds How I always mess with my head Sought my lineage in Germany, Ireland and England Found so many searching for another to hold their hand Linked to so many communities, didn’t know where to stay Flipped and flopped, drew, sewed and wrote, raised one or two goats Planted gardens in the permaculture way Took circus to the outback Drove along many a dirt track

Came home to the child inside and found she was still hiding scared of the pain Of love being abandoned again and again Re-learned all I could about me and the people around Families take me in as I am the pied piper on sacred ground Found my gift in poetry Love to give it with joy, sometimes for free Hold space for others to get a smile on their face Make paper and read, rest a lot it’s no disgrace

Searching for the evolutionary edge in deed By the sea I settled into me and started to truly let myself be Accepting and surrendering to Divinity Recognising in everything what others see in me Feeling the grief and the sadness Knowing that most of my mind is madness Feeling into the heart of the matter Timely letting all illusions shatter Heart open sensitive soul Acknowledging others and myself are whole Everything I ever did Was serving me and my inner kid

We have been on a journey of love Protected by angels below and above Stories have been told I’ve given myself away and I have been sold Deep feelings wondering why Life hurt and made me cry Strive to be happy, follow the trends Found I’m ahead of them again and again Big picture and vision, a culture free of any box Making circus toys out of second-hand stuff and socks Nature my guide, Feelings I feel A creative catalyst with a strong will Fire horse friend to many All doing our best, big smile and friendly Playing games – Jump or flip right in Heart of a child, nothing a sin Experiences to be had, People to meet Love animals and plants since I was a kid in the street Community worker voice of the heart Always steps up and plays her part

Always a writer and each day I come back to the page After a bundle of feelings have danced across my stage Whatever I did used to make me feel right and wrong Then I realise it’s all just a song With a message for me about how I live life Revealing its effortless – doesn’t have to be about strife If I trust and allow whatever comes in To explore, be grateful, question and grin Cos the secret of life is things aren’t as they seem Then even when they are, it is just a dream A story we tell that matches our beliefs And in some strange way, it all gives us relief Cos it proves that we thought was true That we are perfectly justified in all we do

So, who am I when it all comes down A saint, a jester, a lover or a clown I am an experience that all beings respect I am the muse who plays to inspire and express I am the adventure where we can touch and be touched In a moment where senses mean oh so much Things move and change, there’s nothing to pin down If I try to know too much, I end up with a frown So I surrender, and accept my calling Whoever I’m with I listen, it’s never boring So much to experience so many to feel Connected to all life, the earth I reveal All are my kindred spirits, part of it all Messages revealed nothing to do but have a ball

Again, I sit down to talk about me How to put myself into some category It all falls away to this small little light None of its important I know I’m alright All of the tangents and all of the trends All of the times I’ve lost and gained friends I feel so excited about what I will see when we are together you being you, and me being me. We will get to connect, what will we alchemise By seeing what you hold in your heart and your eyes.